Friday, October 21, 2016

sixtysomething episode #4





Episode 4
HELEN IS LYING ON A FLAT EXAMINING TABLE. NICKY, A YOUNG ASIAN WOMAN IS PAINTING HOT WAX ON HER BROWS, LIP AND CHIN AND APPLYING STRIPS OF COTTON TO YANK OFF THE DRIED WAX.

HELEN
Well, I guess that's one advantage of getting old.  When I was young I had to get waxed every two weeks.  My girls get threaded.  It lasts longer but when I tried it, it hurt like hell.

NICKY
Quiet now so I don't mess up your lip.

NICKY TEARS THE WAX OFF OF HELEN'S LIP AND THEN DABS ON ASTRINGENT.  SHE HANDS HER A MIRROR, HELEN EXAMINES HER FACE AND NODS.

HELEN
I'm not sure if it just grows more slowly post menopause or that my eyes are so bad I can't see it. Maybe it's just that the whiskers grow in white.
NICKY
Ok. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up so we can go do your nails.  Did you pick your colors?

HELEN SLIDES OFF THE TABLE AND NICKY LEADS HER TO A MANICURE CHAIR WITH BUBBLING FOOT BASIN.
HELEN
Nah.  I didn't bother because you always veto my colors.  Just do what you think is best.

NICKY
Are you going anywhere special?  Should we go fancy?

HELEN
Yeah, choose something fancy enough for The Dollar Store and a root canal. Is there a color called "Autumn Ennui" or maybe "No Life 
Lilac?"

NICKY

Purple tones are crap with your coloring.  We'll do teal toes and coral fingers.  You'll be happy.

HELEN SURVEYS THE SHOP.  A DRAKE SONG PLAYS. MOST OF THE CUSTOMERS ARE TWENTY-SOMETHINGS WITH EXTENSIVE PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS AND NAILS BEING PAINTED IN VARIOUS SHADES OF GRAY AND BLACK.  NICKY RETURNS WITH NAIL POLISH, REMOVES ONE OF HELEN'S FEET FROM THE BASIN AND STARTS TO REMOVE THE POLISH.

HELEN
Do you have any tattoos Nicky?

NICKY
Nope.  You've never met my mom.  And I don't like 'em that much anyway.

HELEN
I'll tell you a secret.  My husband would kill me, but I give both of my daughters a thousand bucks for every year they go unpierced and tattooed.  

NICKY

I wish you were my mom. 

HELEN

She's still living with you and taking care of Jack, right?

NICKY
Yeah.  Still with my parents.  They make my husband crazy.  His mom is white and he barely speaks Vietnamese.  My mother-in-law is a school principal in Connecticut.  My own mom's been here almost twenty years and she still can't speak English or even ride the bus by herself.

HELEN
Does your dad speak English?

NICKY
Enough to buy thousands of lottery tickets. I have to keep my cash locked up in my car.  He throws the losing tickets in the neighbors trashcan and thinks we haven't figured it out.  Steve never says anything but I can tell he's desperate to move out.  I know his parents would love to have us, well especially Jack, in Connecticut.

HELEN
Your folks teach Jack Vietnamese at least right?  It's a huge advantage to master two languages 

NICKY
Yeah, I guess but they're so timid I'm afraid they're going to make him afraid of everything.  

HELEN
I assume that immigrating here from Vietnam isn't the easiest thing in the world.  I'm sure they went through a lot during the war.

NICKY
Oh, yeah.  For sure, they're both very PTSD. I totally feel sorry for them.  My mom would die if she didn't have Jack to take care of but I know it's probably not the best thing for Jack.

HELEN
My mom used to come stay with the girls once in a while.  She'd snoop around my house and get all judge-y about how messy it was.

NICKY FILES HELEN'S TOENAILS.

HELEN 
There are a ton of good nursery schools in Silver Lake you know. He's almost three right?

NICKY
Yeah, but he's not potty trained completely yet.

HELEN

You could put him in a Jewish school then. They don't care about potty training.  And here on the Eastside the Jews are super into diversity.  He'd learn a couple of Hebrew songs but they'd housebreak him.

NICKY
It's funny that it's such a different world around here.  I worked at a shop in Beverly Hills for a year. The customers spoke to me super slow like I didn't speak English.  TRIM THE CUE TIC CAL. The shop had valet parking and they all drive fancy cars.  And they tipped like 10%.

HELEN
Oh yeah, You're way better off in bleeding heart liberal Silver Lake. 

NICKY
Yeah.  Totally.  But when I told my father-in-law that I voted for Bernie Sanders he was insane. After the war and communism and stuff most Vietnamese are super conservative.  It's weird.  We lived with cousins in Indianapolis for a year before we moved to Alhambra. The Vietnamese there were just as Republican as the white people but the white people hated them anyway.

NICKY MASSAGES AN EXFOLIATING SCRUB INTO HELEN'S FEET.

HELEN
Indianapolis?  How weird.  Is there any kind of Asian community there?

NICKY
Practically none. When we got to Alhambra and my mom went to the 99 Ranch Market she started to cry.  Indianapolis sucked but San Gabriel is TOO Asian.  I wish we could move to Eagle Rock or some place where there's more of a mix.

HELEN
The banh mi in Eagle Rock completely suck!

NICKY
Somebody brought me one from that place on Hyperion and it was like eight dollars and totally bad.

HELEN
Where do you go in San Gabriel?  We use to go to My Tho but they switched up the bread and it isn't good any more.  
NICKY
And they raised the prices too and the old lady is a real bitch. Thank god my parents don't speak English, the way I talk now.

HELEN
What's your Vietnamese name?

NICKY
It's "Cuc."  It means chrysanthemum.  I switched to Nicky because everyone pronounced it "cock."  My parents just call me "Gai," It means "girl."  It's like they're calling me "waitress" but I'm so used to it.  
HELEN
You know they opened a Che Cali in Pasadena. There's a Lee's there too.

NICKY
I'd rather eat McDonalds.
HELEN
Yeah,  They both suck don't they.  What about Mr. Baguette?

NICKY
That's the best!  Especially the sesame bread!

HELEN
I love 'em but they do this weird thing, unless I say like ten times VIETNAMESE they make me these American style sandwiches with American cheese and French's mustard.  They opened a branch downtown but it's not open on the weekends.  Plus they charge like twice as much.

NICKY BEGINS TO APPLY POLISH TO HELEN'S TOES. THE MANICURE CHAIRS HAVE ALL FILLED UP AND ASIAN MANICURISTS BUSILY MANICURE AND PEDICURE.

HELEN
Holy shit. It's January Jones.

NICKY
Who?
HELEN
The blonde over on the left.  She was Betty on Madmen.

NICKY
Oh, her.  She comes in all the time.  Has a big bunion.  I heard Madman is great.  We're still on The Sopranos.

HELEN
I loved Madmen.  The one thing that bugged me is that it was supposed to be Manhattan but it was so obviously shot in L.A.  My girls loved it. They wanted all the clothes.  They couldn't believe that women were treated that way in the 50s and 60s.  I guess that's one good thing about Trump, all that sort of subtle degrading shit that men have gotten away with for years is finally getting some attention.  I'm glad Emmy and Hannah won't have to go through that crap.

NICKY
How are the girls?

HELEN
Oh, They're both good.  I worry though that I've always done so much stuff for them that they're clueless. Emmy bought this blouse on ETSY and it got lost in the mail and she nearly fell apart. God knows why she's buying a blouse when Ian and I are clipping coupons so we can cover her rent. Anyway, I had to log on to her account and get it all straightened out. Sometimes I think it's my fault that she's so helpless.  I bet your role is totally reversed with your mom.

NICKY MOVES TO A HIGHER STOOL AND STARTS TO FILE HELEN'S FINGERNAILS.

NICKY
Oh yeah.  I'm totally jealous of American girls with mothers to take care of them.  I got an hysterical call from my mom just this morning when the DWP came to read the meter. She never talks about what she went through in Vietnam though but I'm sure it was terrible.  I really try to be patient with her but she's always on my case because I don't wait on Steven hand and foot.  He was washing dishes the other night and I thought she was going to murder me. Your nails don't look bad.  I'm going to do an extra coat of gel again. Is the blouse cute?

HELEN
Yeah.  It last's longer with the extra gel. Oh, it's a darling blouse.  I'm sure Hannah's new boyfriend has never washed a dish in his life.  The kid is Jewish and from a wealthy family and I still can't stand him.  He treats me like a maid and is militant about not using coasters.  I miss George.  He was the sweetest thing.  Parents are real bible thumpers in Arkansas but I totally loved the kid.  I'm still not sure why she broke up with him. Did you have boyfriends before Stephen?

NICKY
I went on a couple dates in Indianapolis but my English wasn't very good and I was shy and out of it. I only met Stephen when some of my friends forced me to go to karaoke and some of his friends forced him to go to karaoke and we were both sitting in the back being miserable. 

HELEN
Is he still working at Fox?

NICKY
Yeah, he switched to the home entertainment division in Glendale so it's much closer. He gets home earlier.  I might take a business course at East L.A. College. 

HELEN
That would be so cool.  Would you start your own nail shop?

NICKY
Dunno.   I like doing nails.  Especially here, but I've sort of always wanted to do something with food.  I dunno.  My parents would probably have a fit if I took night courses.

HELEN
Where'd you get your manicure license?

NICKY
We moved to L.A. and the next day my uncle took me and enrolled me at a vocational school in Rosemead.  It's not like American kids. They decided I would learn manicure so I learned manicure. Thank God I don't hate it but I don't see myself doing it forever. Steven's good with whatever I want to do but my parents are a different story.

NICKY APPLIES POLISH TO HELEN'S FINGERS AND PUTS HER HAND INSIDE A DRYING DEVICE.

HELEN
God, I think if I told my girls to breathe that they wouldn't do it just to spite me. You know, they're both way more confrontational and assertive than I am. They'd be great businesswomen I think but no. Liberal arts all the way.  Theater and Art History.  I'll probably be mailing their rent checks from the rest home.

NICKY MASSAGES HELEN'S HANDS.

NICKY
Well, Hannah's got the rich boyfriend.

HELEN
I'd rather be a bag lady and keep paying her rent.  But seriously, it's so cool that you're taking classes.

NICKY
I am THINKING about taking classes and whether it's worth having a big fight with my parents over.  You're done.  You like?

HELEN EXAMINES HER FINGERS AND TOES

HELEN
I have never in my life had a better mani/pedi.  Part of me selfishly hopes that you will stay right here.

HELEN TIPS NICKY WITH A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL.

NICKY
God, you really are a bleeding heart liberal.

HELEN
Nah, it's still cheaper than therapy.

THEY HUG
CUT

1 comment:

My own Damn Blog said...

Manicurist = wholly underpaid shrink.