The Saga of Donald Sterling

Donald Sterling is disconsolate
to have spilled his guts to a young mistress,

who’s got no name, only a consonant.

His yammering’s caused much distress

for the team, the wife and all the rest.

Too bad there was no tape eraser

to save the former ambulance chaser.

He tried to hide that he’s a cad

with tacky full-page newspaper ads.

He boasted of philanthropy,

was feted by the NAACP.

His contributions in truth were sad.

Many fewer dollars than did say he,

which smacks of pure misanthropy.

He trumpeted righteousness,

but was myopic in largesse.

His glitzy condos sure aren’t plebian;

Each palace screams out “Nouveau Riche”

But scads of dough won’t change the hitch,

don’t try to rent if you’re not Korean.

V. was called an archivist,

suggesting database and lists.

But the job description must have read:

Lots of bucks for giving head

Sterling boasts that life ain’t boring

and Viagra stock is soaring.

A life lived lusty, Sterling’s chipper

The bucks, the broads, Plantation Clipper

The NBA plans retribution.

And it seems that they will see fit

to order the sale at a huge profit

and impose a ban that lasts eternity.

But for Sterling how long could that possibly be?

Sterling moans that it’s tragic

that he wasn’t defended by Magic

Except for the no Instagrams

Magic was one of Donald’s bestest pals.

Koreans aren’t known for their great basketball

Shelly you’ll find the most curious.

Her lawsuit against V. was quite spurious,

But she’s infinite light-years outside of the box.

You’re not sure if she’s crazy or crazy like a fox.

She stays married to Sterling despite her great scorn

They changed the name from Tokowitz before I was born.

A regal appellation like “Sterling” had been Shelly’s dream.

And now the old queen is claiming the team.

Our Shelly’s a lady of mystery.

She can throw a big fit,

but she still looks the shit

Though she’s gotta be older than history

And Bernie Madoff chills in prison,

freed from the stress of big decisions

and comforted by his own myth.

The shekels scammed were from only the rich.

Why does the world hate Israel?, you may ask.

Madoff’s in the slammer.

So Sheldon Adelson has taken on the task.

 A real Hebrew Hammer.

He’s a nasty old coot.

He gave big bucks to Knute.

and the Tea party to him does clamber.

Rottoness over the top.

Three scoundrels.  Three makers of news.

Greed, arrogance, biogotry and all manners of fop,

It ‘s good for a laugh but it’s bad for the Jews.